if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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