I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
