I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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