my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
