oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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