if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
