I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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