Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
