I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize