we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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