I wannas sexs uuuuu
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
