He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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