How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
