so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
