my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
