Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
