oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
