my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
