Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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