dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
