I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
