Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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