It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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