You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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