Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize