Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
