I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
