needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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