Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
