a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
