just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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