Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
