Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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