idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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