Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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