oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
