I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
