i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
