Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
