I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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