I cockslap morals
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
