I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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