don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
