I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
