Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
