Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
