I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
