Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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