I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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