My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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