i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
