so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
