so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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