If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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