Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
