Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
