redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
