I smell stomach acid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
