I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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