Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
