Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What drink are we having for lunch?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
