I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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