Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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