is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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