I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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