its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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